Poker with Waverly

This story illustrates how I have spent my days since Waverly was born on November 4th, 2008.

Last night's 'events' are illustrative of what my life is like working from home and taking care of a baby. My wife Chanyuan is working as a nurse and is not confident enough to drive in the snow so I drove her to work at 3 PM yesterday. (3-1130 PM is her normal shift.) After I got home with Waverly I fed her and hoped she would go to sleep so I could get some ''work' done. Alas, sleep was not on her agenda. So I figured I would keep her up for her entire 3 hours between feedings so she would sleep after her 9 PM feeding. I sang karaoke to Waverly until she was crying from the brutal ear assault. The neighbors were probably wondering what was going on with me singing and her wailing at the same time! Regardless, it kept her awake til her 9PM feeding. Waverly doesn't always finish off 3 ounces, but by 930, the milk was gone and she was down for the count! Fell asleep in her swing like she often does. YES! Now to get some work in. I open up 6 SNGs (10 person single table tournaments.) They take about an hour to complete and with staggered starts, they will all be complete by 1030 PM. That should leave enough time to feed Waverly and go get Chanyuan.

All is going well with 2 SNGs completed by 1015 when I begin to hear a chirping coming from the swing. Uh-oh! Someone is waking up. In another 2 minutes the chirping is becoming a low pitched wail. Dammit kid, you can't be hungry yet! In between folding hands I pick her up and sit her on my lap. UGH! What a stench! You are crying cause you poopied! NICE. How quickly you forget our deal! You save the chocolate soup for mommy and get all the candy you want! At least daddy has strategically placed the changing table right next to the computer. Onto the changing table you go, stinky Cho Cho! Keep in mind that I am still raising, folding, calling etc on 4 tables while maneuvering my beloved child around. Get out the new diaper and wipies. Fold, fold, fold, call. Unsnap the sleeper. Back to the computer. Raise, fold, fold, fold. Wait to finish the raised hand. OK, now quickly whip off the old diaper and do a quick wipe to get off the worst of it. Slide new diaper underneath. Back to the computer. This would be a whole lot easier if you would quit crying Waverly. Fold, fold, fold, raise.

Back to the diaper, couple more quick wipes, clean the creases......no you don't...feet don't go in the dirty diaper! Wipe down now 'dirty' foot. Computer is beeping, you have 15 seconds to complete your action! Toss the diaper and wipie in garbage and go back to the computer. Make my play. Rush over to changing table to install new diaper. DAMN! I stub my big toe on the changing table. I look down and nail is cracked, feels awful. Install new diaper and bring Waverly back to my lap. Continue playing while closing the snaps on her sleeper between mouse clicks. Get wipie and clean mouse of mysterious sticky brown substance. Thoroughly wipe down hands too!

Ok, your diaper is clean, why are you still crying! Bounce on leg and try to play while Waverly's cries become a pitch higher! Hunger cry? Are you kidding me? What is wrong with you? 3 ounces usually lasts you at least 3 hours! The bottle is in the other room in pieces and the milk is in the kitchen and the computer is in the living room. I carefully place the fire siren on the changing table. Thankfully, I bust out of one SNG in second, leaving just 3. In between folds, I limp to the bedroom and grab the bottle parts. Back at the computer, I make moves and put the bottle together. Waverly is doing the full throated Buh WaH now! With every breath, she lets out a nice loud bellow. Yes child, daddy is getting the milk ready! Fold, fold, run to the kitchen. Pour water, dump in milk mix. Urged on by the steady Buh Wahing I run back to the computer. How did I forget the top of the bottle? Fold, fold, back to the bedroom to get the top part of the bottle that holds the nipple! Damn my toe hurts! Fire alarm scream is at its loudest and continuing full force!

Screw top on bottle and get Waverly in feeding position. This part takes some talent since I need to keep one hand available to the mouse, one hand for the bottle and my other hand to hold the still screaming child in place. No I don't have three hands and I need to free one up every time I click the mouse which is about every 5-10 seconds. (I don't normally try to feed and play at the same time but I am sure you realize that I kind of got 'forced' into this predicament..) So I try to hold the bottle in place with my chin while I click the mouse. The bottle falls out of place and I hear an immediate Buh Wah!

Holy cow, I actually manage to win one of the remaining 3 SNGs and that leaves only 2! Thank the Lord for small miracles. I put the bottle back in her mouth but Waverly keeps trying to cry. The cries are a little muffled cause the nipple is in her mouth. A little because she can still wail pretty good, even with the nipple in the way! NOW what is the problem? Suck child, not scream! Fold, fold and forcibly place nipple in her mouth. She tries several sucks, gives up and starts to wail again! Computer is beeping! I fold one raise the other. Take bottle from mouth and hold upside down....no dripping! Crap, faulty nipple! The fire siren in my lap is announcing that the black hole is still eating her tummy and comes back to full force now with full throated BUH WAHs. Thank god everyone folded to my raise. Fold, fold and I race off to the bedroom again. I grab a new nipple.

I install the new nipple on the bottle and place nipple in her mouth. Raise, fold. Waverly is not sucking. She is wailing instead. Everyone folds to my raise. I hold up the new bottle. No dripping here either! ANOTHER faulty nipple? Buh Wah, Buh Wah, fold, fold I race back to the bedroom. I grab the new nipple and a grip on my sanity. I raise in one SNG, fold the other. Buh Wah, Buh Wah, 'Daddy is fixing the new nipple honey!' My raise is called by AA and I am out of the 5th SNG leaving one. Did I mention that I hate AK? The new nipple works! The siren sound is replaced by vigorous sucking sounds. The black hole that Waverly calls a tummy is gonna be sedated after all! One tabling and feeding a baby is a cakewalk! Too bad I get crummy cards and bust out here too. Not too bad a result though: 6 buy ins spent. 8 buy ins returned in wins. One stubbed toe. One cracked toenail. One freshly cleaned mouse. One quiet and well fed Waverly. Priceless!